


We'll be laughing within those ruins

by Kittywu



Series: Jearmin Week III [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jearmin Week, M/M, prompt: tattoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2819552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywu/pseuds/Kittywu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ll tattoo your name across my heart with anchors that everyone knows where mine belongs.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll be laughing within those ruins

**Author's Note:**

> So. When I thought about the tattoo prompt, my first association was this one line from this [one song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoBn0dwDwvY) and so i wrote a fic inspired by a casper song. And it kind of got less angsty than planned and less angsty than what you'd expect from writing to a casper album.  
> The title is also based on a line from the song.

Home is where your heart is, they say. If that’s the truth, Jean Kirschstein’s home was with Armin.

“Where have you been?”, his mother yelled as he opened the door. She stood in front of him in the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest, a scowl on her face.  
“Out”, Jean answered trying to suppress any emotion in his voice.  
“Do you know what time it is?”  
“Whatever.” He tried to get past her, but the woman blocked his way.  
“It’s nearly 2 am! What do you think you’re doing?”  
“Yeah bla bla bla.”

He made his way up the stairs, opened the door of his room and threw his backpack into a corner. Kicked his shoes off his feet and turned on his stereo. Locked the door. He didn’t care if it was 2 am. Maybe he did it just because it was 2 am. The taste of Armin still lingered in his mouth, and the image of his smile was still vivid in his head. He closed his eyes, it was the only thing he wanted to think about. His phone vibrated, he read Armin’s name on the screen and smiled as he read the “it was really nice tonight. Thank you <3”.

Jean tried to ignore the fact that someone was knocking on his bedroom door, that his father was yelling his name, that he was probably grounded for being out that long. He didn’t care, turned the volume of his music up. He was sick of their “you’re a disgrace for our family”, the “you’ll send your mother to the grave, she worries so much” and the “you had been such a good child, what happened to you?”. Their record was stuck, every day the same thing. If he could, he’d be gone. He counted the days until he was 18, he’d be out of this house the second the clock stroke midnight. He’d find a way to pay for his own place, he’d take Armin in. Maybe he’d move into another city, another country, far away from this place that he used to call home and was now just a ruin of memories.

127 days left.

\--

The smell of his house made him sick. It hit him into the face the second he opened the door, cold cigarettes, cheap perfume and old coffee. He held his breath as he sneaked through the dark living room. Maybe no one would notice him if he was quiet enough. Maybe they hadn’t even noticed that he hadn’t been home. He quietly closed the door of his room and didn’t dare to turn on the lights in fear that the buzzing of the lamp might wake his mother.

Armin Arlert sometimes wondered how it must feel to have a proper family. But he didn’t need one anymore, he had Jean and Jean was everything he needed.

He was still drunk from his lips and his touches and tipsy from the booze they had shared. He dropped into his bed fully dressed, the only light that illuminated the room was his phone screen. He stared at the message from Jean saying “was with you after all. Love you baby <3”, smiled a tired smile and closed his eyes.

If he pretended that this place wasn’t the way it was, if he could tell himself that his mother wouldn’t look through him tomorrow and his father would be sober, maybe this place wouldn’t seem half as bad. Maybe he could believe that someone would come and rebuild this ruin that was his life. Maybe Jean was this one. They could run away together, Jean still had some money saved up and he could get a job. They could go somewhere, far away from here where no one knew them. They could be someone else, they could be together.

They could be happy.

\--

There wasn’t much to think about, there wasn’t time to make a plan. He just stuffed his clothes into a bag, the burning gaze of his father in his back, a stare of contempt. And then he walked down the stairs, hearing the sobs of his mother. The front door was slammed shut behind him the second he had left the house.

“I don’t want to have a homosexual living under my roof.” The words were still loud in his ears, as loud as the yells of his father. If he had to decide between Armin and his parents, his decision would always be Armin. If they kicked him out for that, so be it, he thought. Repeated it over and over again. He tried to make himself believe that it didn’t matter to him.

He called Armin in tears, he had never expected himself to cry because of them.

\--

Armin knew that things wouldn’t work out the way they pictured them. Two 17 year old boys, one kicked out and the other one just not going back. But maybe it would work for a few days, maybe a few weeks.

Still, they were together. He took Jean’s hand as they walked through the streets of the city center, they weren’t lost under the bright lights of the Christmas decorations, they just had nowhere to go.  
“What do you want to do now?”, he asked Jean.  
“Let’s pretend the world is ours for tonight”, the other one answered, squeezed the smaller hand in his palm and smiled.  
“Then let’s grab some food first, I’m starving.”

If Armin was honest, they hadn’t lost anything, they never had anything besides each other in the first place. He closed his eyes as Jean kissed him and hoped that the world was theirs forever.

\--

He pointed at the tattoo studio as they walked past it, it was just a coincidence but it was fate all the same. So Jean pulled Armin into the store, he hadn’t let go of his hand since they had met up some hours ago.

“I want to get a souvenir from tonight”, he told the blond who gave him a suspicious glare as he pulled him towards the counter. “I’ll tattoo your name across my heart with anchors that everyone knows where mine belongs.”  
“You are insane, Jean”, the other one said and clung to his arm. His face was flushed red, it wasn’t from the cold. And there was a smile on his face, that kind of smile he loved about his boyfriend. “What if you’ll regret it a few years from now?”  
“Why should I? This is a memorable night, it’s the start of a new life. It needs to be celebrated, baby!”

The man at the counter scanned them with his eyes, his gaze was cold and scrutinizing. “Are you even old enough to get a tattoo?” he said as Jean was about to speak.  
“Sure”, he lied and pretended to look for his ID card.  
“Whatever”, the man said. “What do you want?”

Jean pointed at his chest and said he’d get the name “Armin” right over his heart, in between of two anchors. The tattoo artist laughed as he explained. “If I wouldn’t already know that you’re not old enough to get a tattoo on your own, I’d know it now. Sure that you won’t regret that fling of teen enthusiasm when you’re older?”  
“Nope, never”, he answered, smiled at Armin and kissed him.  
“Well, it’s your body”, the man said and started to scribble something onto a piece of paper.

“Let’s be together forever”, Armin said.

\--

He didn’t let go of his hand, he squeezed it tightly while the needle engraved him onto the body of Jean. The other had gone mad, he knew that he should have stopped him, but he didn’t want to at the same time. There was a feeling inside of him, a feeling that he experienced for the first time. There was a voice telling him that everything would end well. They were nothing alone but they could be everything as long as they were together.

Armin admired the tattoo while it was being made, and as Jean was done and asked him with his million dollar smile if he liked it, he got on his tiptoes, cupped Jean’s face with his hands and kissed him. “I love it”, he said.

\--

They got themselves a bottle of champagne instead of a hotel room and found a nice spot close to the river. They watched the water, sitting close to each other, their fingers intertwined and hidden in the pocked of Jean’s coat. The two of them against the rest of the world, their backs against a brick wall.

Jean took a sip out of the bottle and reached it to Armin. “So, what do you want to do now?”  
“Let’s watch the sunrise together and then let’s watch all the sunrises together from now on.” Armin’s head leaned onto Jean’s shoulder and Jean’s rested on top of his blond hair. The strands of Armin’s chin long hair tickled at his neck.  
“One day, I’ll buy us a house and we’ll be old men sitting on the porch and you’ll be reading a book and I’ll be knitting a scarf. And we’ll be laughing at how stupid we were back then when we were young, but for now, let’s just be free, baby”, he said as his thumb drew circles on Armin’s hand in his pocket. They kissed as the rising sun painted the sky above them red.

The blue eyes of the other told Jean that he was scared and Jean was as well. They had no plan, no idea how they should go on. They were laying in between the ruins of their lives, future uncertain, but they didn’t care. They were laughing within those ruins.

As the new day was dawning, they had each other.  


**Author's Note:**

> It turned out super pseudo meaningful and trashy and awful, but I can't help it, I love it. It is my favourite jearmin week thing together with letter no 52.


End file.
